Formula Fear
A bit ago I was passed this article: Fearless Formula Feeders. I spent some time mulling it over and wondering to myself what did they fear and why? Formula feeding is the socially acceptable way to feed babies, so it can’t be a fear of ‘public opinion’. What could it be a fear of? I’ve pondered whether it might be me, and you, and other breastfeeding mothers, are we scary? But I’m shrugging that off, it can’t possibly be us, I know I’m really nice. It must be the government and the agencies that are promoting breastfeeding, yeah that must be it. What do you think?
In my 10 years of creating comics my characters have rarely ‘talked’ directly to a mother who feeds her baby with formula, okay, maybe a handful of times and then it’s rarely about the bottle and almost always about the stroller the mother is choosing to use. Because rarely do I have a beef with a formula-feeding mother, unless they’re all up in my business about breastfeeding, then I do, oh yes I certainly do. My complaint is with the Formula Industry and their marketing practices, the hospitals that peddle their stuff, the doctors that promote it, the society that reveres it, the culture that thinks it’s ‘best’, and so my comics address those twerps, most of the time. But here is a group of women who are declaring themselves ‘fearless’, when they’re in the majority, to what could they possibly be reacting?
More comics are coming…
I’ll probably have my latest book (non-digital book ;o) for sale tomorrow!!!!
Well, I can think of one comic – and I’m not a member – where the family is out and someone’s feeding a baby with a bottle, and the mother is shielding the children’s eyes. I’m sure you know the one. It’s quite funny, it gave me a laugh. And of course, there are a few EBF moms out there who do shun the formula feeding moms. It’s like they have their own exclusive BF club. Yes, the “breastapo” does exist. I started out BFing my first 2 and had to switch to formula because of supply, medications, etc. Now on my third, I am still having supply issues, but found a donor mom. But I had gotten nasty looks on more than one occasion, with my other two when out and about, and shaking up a bottle of that nasty powdered stuff (that surely must taste just grainy and yucky, but sustains growth and nourishes the body, minus all the antibodies). BF is hard for so many reasons for many women, and a lot of moms, me included, feel a lot of guilt over failing to “succeed”, whatever that means. Especially when you see on every formula can, “breast is best”, so you know your baby’s getting “not as great”. That makes many moms extra-sensitive and overly receptive to any potentially negative connotation towards formula feeding.
Maybe not in the real world but online it can be hard to be a formula feeding mother. Assumptions are made[ by some] about how I must not be educated enough and if I knew the facts etc. The reasons behind our choice to formula feed is not important to some only that I must not know breastfeeding is the biological norm or the dangers of formula feeding. They say they only want to help and support all the while making comments about how awful formula is, the dangers etc Like I’d lived under a rock and hadn’t read the same information. So then the next assumption is made [again only by some] then I must not have wanted to put in the effort, must not care enough, secretly too shy to breastfeed in public etc etc.
i think that when information is given, when facts are given many women who have had to give formula or who have just wanted to give formula get really upset and want the facts hidden, they want the info not to be “pushed on them” when in reality it is just being put out there. i mean you don’t hear a whole lot of complaining when you see ads in mags, or at the peds office or in the paper (coupons) or when it is dropped off at your door.. the formula is being shoved down your throat.. BUT that is helpful. that is being nice, that is giving a choice. yes there are some moms who are very passionate about breastfeeding, and maybe they com across as pushing and/or mean, but i swear it is because our breastfeeding rates are horrifying. and they want the info out there. because a lot the time the moms who have had issues, had shitty support, had issues that could have been solved with better info/support. they were alone and didn’t know what all to do and were lied to and fed a bunch of bull hockey by “medical professionals” who are paid to sell formula. so there you are, a new mom, something isn’t working right and your ped tells you your baby is starving to death and give formula! so you do and the more you give the smaller your breastmilk supply until it is gone. and then some “a-hole” on line is telling YOU that you could have breastfed had you done A,B,C and yada yada and who do you get mad at? the ped? the formula companies? the family that gave you crappy support? NO! you get pissed at the on-line women offering info. because damn it! the formula saved your child’s life and where the hell was that info 3 years ago when you could have used it? and where was that support? you got the support in the ped and nurses and the IBCLC who all gave you the OK to give formula, who all told you it was “just as good” and it was ok, and it was life saving. so you did it, you had to, what other choice did you have?
the problem isn’t the info, it isn’t the breastfeeding moms who are passionate, it isn’t the moms who use formula for what ever reason, the problem is we have lost our confidence in your abilities, we have been lied to and sold a bill of goods and the formula companies know how to get us, that is why ads work so well. ads with breastfeeding mom in depressing light, all alone, formula mom is sunshine surrounded by people. what would you pick?
and please please please no “breastapo” or “nipple nazi” that is hateful and nasty. you don’t see formula nazi floating around.