Broccoli Eater
I’m working on a series of comics about a statement in this article: Fearless Formula Feeders specifically that rates of breastfeeding are ‘spectacular’ because 19 out of 20 new mothers report that they breastfed at least once. This week I also heard Attachment Parenting called “the dominant parenting philosophy” of our time. This was on a blog post that claimed that mothers who self-identify as a attachment parenting mothers are (sneeringly) ‘tribal’ and ‘insecure’ and ‘aggressive’ and that, it’s tantamount to a mental disorder for someone that’s in a majority, to falsely claim to be in a minority just for the sympathy and the rebellion of it all. Indeed, I was going to do an entire series on THAT bit of freudian logic alone, but when I went back to the blog post the ‘dominant philosophy’ part was taken out. I guess the writer was clued into their hypocrisy by someone, drat them. Truth is, breastfeeders are still a minority of the populace and if you want to say that everyone who has breastfed at least once is a breastfeeder, then yes, we start to look like a majority, but seriously, that’s just on paper. And why do you want to get breastfeeders to look like a majority? So that mothers that don’t breastfeed can get the kudos of speaking truth to power, the sympathy vote? And here you have it, infant formula becomes an act of rebellion. SURE. Oh, and guess what sells? Rebellion sells.
I did some research on why there are a number of ‘parenting philosophers’ calling Attachment Parenting the dominant philosophy. firstly, they’re the ones decrying the philosophy, so I submit to you they are the ‘backlash’, and that they are usually taking money from the formula companies. AND I find they’re talking about an overall and general ‘kids first’ mentality. Yes, and good, if that’s true, then I’m glad that’s the dominant philosophy. I’m concerned that this ‘kids first’ version of Attachment Parenting is often falsely expressed in too much stuff: classes, planned activities, toys, but if putting kids needs out in front is where we are in this world then hallelujah!
Attachment parenting, as far as I’m concerned, is a set of actions, often beginning with natural childbirth (that’s the one that’s not an absolute, as mothers often have no personal control over the birth), exclusive and extended breastfeeding, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, and a general hanging-out with and respecting of kids, that’s attachment parenting. I live in California, in the land of Dr. Sears, and even here it’s obvious AP is not the dominant philosophy. There are no statistics on attachment parenting, that I can find, but exclusive breastfeeding rates are probably okay stand-ins. In the US exclusive breastfeeding rates through three months are 36%, not a majority and NOT a dominant parenting philosophy.
I’m thinking that when ‘parenting philosophers’ claim that attachment parenting is “dominant”, or that breastfeeding rates are ‘spectacular’ they’re trying to falsely place them in a majority and hence place themselves in a minority, definitely a comfortable place to be if you want to get sympathy, inspire rebellion, and ultimately raise funding. Your thoughts?
I’d also like to point out that this comic is a rare glimpse at my diet almost exclusively chocolate, viva la Broccoli Eaters!!!!
it is nice to hear that so many are at least trying it… BUT what is making them not cont?
although i do believe that support and knowledge go a long way in getting more moms to cont breastfeeding, there also has to be the desire in the mom. i know that many moms who post here and else where say that they tried and had many issues with breastfeeding. which is heart breaking. so many try so hard and so many don’t even bother.
one of my “issues” is, in this day and age it is literally impossible to NOT be able to get information. i mean you can spend 8 hours a day for weeks researching cell phones, or cars, or computers, or e-readers… and yet no one hardly takes a minute to research breastfeeding. you see so many women saying “had i known…” well, i have to say that it isn’t that hard to get the location of a LLL meeting, or find out who to talk to, it is the desire to do it. you want the best cell phone and best cell phone plan you research you do the leg work. and seriously a cell phone is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but breastfeeding is. i mean people don’t want to hear that, people don’t like facts (when it comes to parenting stuff), they don’t like the language of breastfeeding.
i think we like being given an OK to not do it. my 13+ years of breastfeeding hasn’t been easy. i supplemented with formula, i had many plugged ducts, mastitis multiple times, bad latch, tongue tie, i was pushed to stop nursing earlier then i would have wanted, i have had people make comments when i nurse in public (has not happened in a decade), i felt like i knew it all and when shit got hard i didn’t think anyone had anything they could tell me… my breastfeeding journey hasn’t been sunshine and roses. but then, you know, it has. the midnight feedings, and co-sleeping, the snuggly toddler, breastfeeding a sick baby or 2 year old and knowing that this is the very best i could give them right then.
things that are good, or natural or perfect aren’t always going to be easy. but that doesn’t make them less perfect. it is our attitude that is our biggest hurdle. i know women who have had premies and still are breastfeeding 2 years later, i know women who have struggled and struggled and still are nursing, i know women who have adopted and made themselves lactate! i know women who got formula samples and stopped nursing because the free formula was right there and they didn’t want to bother going to a LLL meeting, and the doc said formula was good and their husband was pushing to feed the baby and they were exhausted and had not looked into any of the natural things that happen when you breastfeed. was is a support issue? was it an information issue? was it a not being committed enough issue? i think it was all three. you can have the support, the info but if you do not have the desire then it doesn’t matter, you will find any reason for it not to work. and you can have no support and little info and still, if you really want to… a lot of women push thru and at least partially breastfeed.
i think when breastfeeding goes wrong and the experience is bad the mom becomes defensive when information is presented. facts are not attacks. maybe who or what we should be upset about isn’t other mothers success, or new information about breastfeeding, we should be upset at medical people who lie and are sell outs, formula companies and their ads, IBCLCs who push supplementation, the public that still sexualizes ‘bodies, the media that publishes crap ass opinion pieces as facts. instead of hating on breastfeeders… pick the real people to hate on (if you must hate) and stop throwing around nipple nazi and breastapo. because really people you encourage breastfeeding aren’t killing babies. so maybe it should be formula company nazi?